I never expected to have such a good year... and it's not done yet!
I began this year with a seemingly broken heart. I felt almost all the misfortune had befallen on me. Admittedly, I was stupid enough to believe that life was that depressing.
My Hong Kong adventure last December 2012 has inspired me to do my best in everything I do. I loved the fact of having rewards after a day's hard work. It fuels me to do everything on time, to achieve more and more, and to look forward to a new task.
Gladly, the excitement in my life never wanes for too long.
April 2013 the most rigorous month of my life. Aside from my usually dull and senseless birthday, I hardly get excited in this month since it always falls on a Holy Week. Being a Catholic, observing this week requires fasting and a little sacrifice. No celebrations, no gifts, just staying at home for prayer and silence. Aside from the fact I'm not a kid anymore, it gets less and less exciting, never anything special on that exact date.
But this month! The worst and the best rolled into one.
I've been called crazily insane for facing two major examinations in a single month. I took the risk in changing my career. So I decided to take the entrance exam at UP SOLAIR (University of the Philippines, School of Labor and Industrial Relations). Labor has been in my blood, politics in my veins. But I loathed all that stuff. Definitely I never wanted to be following my bloodline. But desperation calls for unimaginable measures. I decided to take the exam and change my degree, change my career path. During that time I've had sleepless nights reading and reading although I definitely know the content. And on the day of the exam, it was the most draining day I've had. It's way damn far from everything I've been exposed to. I mean, I teach! But not social sciences and all that math! I even loathe math! And that exam required me to compute and read for a matter of seconds!
I don't know if luck had been on my side. Because after crying so much at all that hard bullshit, I PASSED!
Middle of April I had another adventure, pictures of which I have yet to post. I've taken in so much I can't make my photography keep up with the demand. What I mean is, my photography skills are so low at the moment and there are so many scenes to be captured. I can't do justice to what beauty my bare eyes could see. But during this time, I was still healing a broken heart. And slowly I was able to let go of it eventually. I've somehow proven time lets you heal, slowly. But if you get out there and have a great time with people you love, it makes everything easy and fast. And by the way, it was my first time to fly ALONE. It felt awesome to be independent and responsible for myself, without my mother brooding over me all the time. It felt good to plan everything, to be taking risks and see what works and what doesn't work. I want to do it again so bad.
And then, coming back from the trip. I had to face another demon: Statistics comprehensive exams for my MA Linguistics at Philippine Normal University. As I said, I definitely loathe math! I could reek endlessly at my hatred for that subject. Again, I spent sleepless nights reviewing and understanding all that load of shit. I took that exam a year ago, I miserably failed. That time I broke up with my first and only long time boyfriend who was a moron and chose to break up with me a day before my exam. Shitty guys try to ruin accomplished women. He was successful though, on the math part of my exam. But I gladly passed my majors. I have to bloat, I am a damn good researcher and most of the content required writing and analysis. Lucky me, I can do it with eyes closed. And so! Retaking the statistics exam was a repeat of the nightmare. Yes it was sleepless days and nights, I literally faint on the desk where I write or read. My mother never understood why I study at midnight to daybreak, because I hate noise. I easily get distracted at the smallest movements or noise. And considering math, gahd, its like tendering a horseshoe.
But gladly, the second achievement, I PASSED!
May came, it was hell time for decision making. Should I work? Or should I continue immediately and finish my thesis so I could graduate by October. Its already October and half of me regrets working, I should be walking up on stage to get my degree.
I had little bit of a choice but to work: save money, buy me some time while I wasn't ready at all to write and focus, and of course let time heal a broken heart. And I was actually thankful to have done so: I've met someone who now means a lot to me, who has inspired me and has always challenged me non-verbally to show him I can be more and more than what I am. It is subconscious though, that I'm setting a particular standard to beat; like a cat presenting his prey to his master.
Yes he is someone who was able to make me swoon for no goddamn reason. Someone who can continuously argue with me senselessly, and still enjoy and miss every bit of those conversations. He is, until now, the challenge I have in my mindset. Seriously, I'm so easy to read and I am damn predictable. Had he played me like a yarn ball, he could easily have done so.
I so miss him.